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James Bond breaks lots of things

January 16, 2012

James Bond isn’t really my favorite, but heck, the guy is a cultural icon and you more or less have to have seen at least some of the movies. So when “The world is not enough” was on TV last Saturday, I settled down on the sofa with one husband, one bottle of Coke and circa 17482 popcorn. There’s still some of them left in the sofa.

Yeah. All in all not a bad movie, I guess. Cool action scenes, fairly suspenseful fight scenes, great special effects, a not too stupid plot with rather believable twists. I had great fun picking out the mandatory phrases in German. “Mein Name ist Bond. James Bond.” “Ein Dry Martini, bitte. Geschüttelt, nicht gerührt.” And a nice little title drop towards the end – “Die Welt ist nicht genug”. I couldn’t quite follow the dialogue otherwise. I really prefer subtitles. (When Swedish movie distributors see a foreign movie that they’d like to pick up, they have it subtitled. In Germany, they have it dubbed. And if American movie distributors come across a foreign movie they like, they have it remade.) Not that the dialogue mattered all that much between the chase scenes and explosions and what not.

Unfortunately, James Bond didn’t only break a couple of noses, a bunch of snowmobiles, an oil pipeline and a submarine. He also broke my willing suspension of disbelief, and pretty hard at that. So I realize that Bond is supposed to be a womanizer, that it is inevitable he will end up in bed with the beautiful young heiress that he is sent to protect. It’s just the conventions of a Bond movie, and they even managed to work some plot points into it. It likewise didn’t seem out of place for him to have sex with the beautiful young nuclear engineer, who is introduced with the comment “Forget about her. She doesn’t care for any man.” Not out of place, but rather disappointing. I had sort of hoped “doesn’t care for any man” meant that she was supposed to be a lesbian, but either it didn’t, or Bond is just so sexy, even the lesbians want him.

But he also seduces the doctor who was supposed to determine if he’s fit for active service again after an injury in the beginning of the movie. I didn’t quite get why, because the whole conversation was in a whisper. But that scene is where the whole conceit of “James Bond sleeps with every woman except M” came crashing down. It’s one thing if he conquers every woman he meets abroad. But the women he works together with at MI6? He can’t just jump into bed with them! Can you imagine the work atmosphere, the gossip, the sheer amount of sexual harassment charges made? Are all of his female coworkers single? Does he care to find out beforehand?

I don’t know. All I know is, I would NOT like to work in the same house as Mr. Bond.

  1. Dr. rer. nat. Evil permalink

    So, James Bond, among other things, dives out of and then right back into a submerged submarine while holding his breath, shortly thereafter impales the bad guy on a nuclear fuel rod and your suspense of disbelief crumbles just because women are attracted to him?

    On the other hand, maybe you’re right. It IS a bit scary. 🙂

  2. If no woman can resist him, then the only thing to do for a woman who doesn’t want to sleep with him is to stay away from him. A bit like the only way to not get addicted to heroin is to never, ever try it. Scary stuff, heroin.

    As for those crazy stunts in and around the submarine: pah. He’s supposed to be able to do that. When did you ever see an action movie hero who couldn’t?

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